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August 28, 2005
A Chronicle of Life Foretold
This marks my first substantive blog post in over two months. Crappy dialup in Aspen was partly to blame for my silence. I also, simply put, fell out of the habit. I regret this not only because my devoted readership protests, but also because so many things happened this summer that will now never see blog's light. But others will, and perhaps will be clearer now than they otherwise would have been.
A retrospective chronicle.
If the summer was defined by anything, it was this, which wound up on my facebook profile shortly after my June arrival in Aspen:
I am happier now, in Aspen, than I have ever been. Perhaps that is because it is beautiful here, or perhaps it is because I am able to focus on my art alone. Perhaps I simply enjoy the company of other musicians. But none of these tells the true story, because I know in my heart that I am "happier" here not by contrast to Harvard (or pre-Harvard). I suppose the most that can be said is this: I prepared myself for happiness this summer, and so I am.
And then, amazingly, the sense of balance and peace I obtained in June continues to sustain itself even today. Not exactly the peace of contentment, but the surety that marks a greater ability to see myself and where I wish to go. More than even raw growth -- although I am better at the bassoon, stronger mentally, stronger emotionally, and stronger physically than I ever have been -- this summer was marked by growth in perception. I see, finally, not only the goal, but also the path.
May I now have the courage to take it. Because there are many challenges left to face; many, lest one accuse me of pride, left inside myself. Still: never have I felt so sure of who I am, or what I intend to do.
Posted by David Richmond at August 28, 2005 9:55 PM EDT
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Comments
Dave,
It's always been a pleasure spending time with you, talking with you, and now reading your blog. Until we met up again this past summer, I had no idea you kept a regular blog (not that I should have known anyway)...nonetheless, I am looking forward to reading and occasionally commenting. This post in particular was refreshing. Cleveland may not be the epicenter of evil spiraling into oblivion that Juilliard is, but sentiments like the ones in your most recent post are always welcome. I do hope we'll be able to make music together again sometime soon.
- Michael Shane
mbs22@cwru.edu
Posted by: Michael Shane at August 29, 2005 2:20 PM
So happy that you have attained the happiness and resolve that you hoped for at the beginning of your summer at aspen. Like Micheal, i too have very much enjoyed the pleasure of making music with you. Although sometimes disconcertingly hard on yourself, i always seem to find playing with you to give me hope. Your true passion for your chosen craft is contagious and i wish that more people possessed this virtue. In response to Micheal's comment about "evil" at Juilliard, i agree with him, however, i would like to think that a lot of us are trying to rise above the stereotypes and prove that we REALLY love what we are doing. This is all very possible if one takes your realization of yourself and your playing to heart--its about the path too, not just the goal. The journey itself is scary, satisfying and hilarious all at once. Watch out...if you're only focused on the goal, you'll miss it! Much love, babe. I am very fond of all your blogs as you know...
Rachel
Posted by: Rachel Gill at August 30, 2005 2:32 AM